 [ARG] As you developed these pieces, how were you looking inward and working with your own eye and values, or outward thinking of audience? What is your intent for your audience? [AD] The work begins internally, and often with very specific personal experiences that my audience doesn’t necessarily need to understand. They resonate with my identity but also don’t have a fixed identity. This leaves the work open enough that it’s easy to enter from an individual’s own perspective. For instance, the pose in Acidic Lungs is taken from an exercise I was given in occupational therapy, but I’ve had viewers respond to it and relay their own experiences of asthma, anxiety, neck injuries, and more.  Ann Dawkins "Acidic Lungs" The paintings Big Fat Feminist Mandarins, I bet she has hairy armpits, and You can’t stomach it were made in response to a cyberstalker, who wrote extremely hateful and misogynistic words about me online. Although these may be unique circumstances, I know many women have experienced vile and unwanted feedback on their bodies from known and strange men alike.  Ann Dawkins "Big Fat Feminist Mandarins" (detail) The common thread here is feeling out of control, feeling powerless, as though your body is not your own. These internal struggles can easily be connected to larger societal issues of the way we treat bodies in this world. The personal is political. We often hear the message loud and clear “Your body does not belong to you.” It can be a never-ending fight—scraping and clawing towards feeling at home in your own body— when forced to deal with external forces such as sexism, racism, transphobia, ableism, capitalism, etc. [ARG] I love the show title Fruit/Bodies. There is nothing wrong about overripe or decaying fruit. It's just what happens and what is. Have you shifted in how you feel about your body, anyone's body, in the course of this long painterly investigation? You mentioned acceptance of bodily suffering in your previous artist statement. Have you painted your way into acceptance? What's that been like (or not like)? [AD] The title Fruit/Bodies is a literal description of the exhibition as a correlation between fruit and bodies as both fleshy and fragile objects. Also, the term “fruit bodies” refers to fungi that break down a host body and produce decay. The exhibition includes depictions of fruit that are in some way vulnerable or tarnished. I’ve found that trauma and injury or illness (physical trauma) can be communicated using the same language. They are similar in that they cause you to distrust your body and feel out of control. Both emotional trauma and physical trauma can deregulate your nervous system and cause bodily distress. On a personal level, I am moving away from fear and towards regulating my nervous system. Acceptance is an ongoing struggle and not a destination in which to arrive, but the work has been a very helpful way to get out of my own head. Additionally, through making the work and connecting with an audience, I’ve realized how universal some of these experiences are. I struggle with feeling pressure to have a positive outlook at the end of my investigation with pain and suffering and I can’t always give that, but I think the uplifting message to walk away with is simply “you are not alone.” [ARG] It's one thing to acquire an intellectual critique of how people are commodified (valued and devalued) in media in bodily depictions, and a whole other thing to replace that commodifying gaze with a new eye for bodies and value. It's uncomfortable to look at some of these images at first, but I find peace when I settle and accept what you show me. [AD] The goal is to dissect and subvert the ways we normally see bodies. The poses can appear sexually aggressive while also leaving me exposed and vulnerable. The interaction with the fruit can be enticing and at the same time disturbing. There may be sexual objectification, but it isn’t particularly pleasing or enjoyable for the viewer. The exposed, rotting, partially consumed fruit can be both beautiful and disgusting; there isn’t a value structure, a right or wrong, or an ideal that it is or isn’t achieving.  Ann Dawkins "Seedy Underbelly" [ARG] It seems you've been very careful not to romanticize or valorize the devalued or suffering body. How did you realize you weren't interested in doing this? You could paint anything. [AD] There’s so much pressure on bodies to look a certain way, to function a certain way, to exist for the pleasure or purposes of others. This is another way in which this bodily disconnection takes place. Who does my body exist for? Why does it exist if it doesn’t function the way society wants it to? Bodies just are—they don’t need to be sexy or beautiful or powerful or effective. A rotten bruised peach is still a peach if it cannot be consumed. Having a body is a practice in vulnerability, especially if that body is met with unwelcome eyes. I wanted to capture that vulnerability in a new way—a way that elicits exposure and makes the viewer feel voyeuristic. To ask, who feels empowered to look and place judgment and even shame, and why? And how do we take that power away? [ARG] It's maybe a process of liberation from the idea of right and wrong bodies? [AD] Yes, I like this interpretation a lot. But I’d add that it’s also an acknowledgment that part of being a human is sometimes your body will just feel wrong to you and you don’t always have to fix or run from that feeling. [ARG] Defamiliarizing the body to disrupt conventional ideas about valuable bodies: is this why you use some less-familiar fruits in your series, and you peeled or opened up the ones that are probably most familiar? [AD] That isn’t necessarily something I consciously thought of. Most of my fruit choices were aesthetic and based on how closely I felt the fruit could personify aspects of the body and how they could create a narrative based on my research.  Ann Dawkins "You can't stomach it" I experimented with altering the fruit. In To the Core, I ate an apple in a way that provided a waist and hourglass shape that was reflective of the female body. While making dinner one night I noticed how the inside of a bell pepper felt reminiscent of a chest cavity, which resulted in the painting Yellow Bell Pepper, Sliced Open. In Exposed Peach Pit I also ate it in a way that created a waist, but in addition I let the pit show in a way that suggested pregnancy. The peach has been regarded by many different cultures as a symbol for female genitalia and the act of eating a peach is considered sexual. This painting, however, is the aftermath of that which is more disgusting—we’re simply left with half-eaten discarded food. Cherries are considered a symbol of virginity and there’s the expression “popping a cherry.” I have the cherries sitting on a white lace napkin, and lace is historically very feminine and elegant. The cherry is staining the napkin, and again is half-eaten, partially consumed in a way that suggests something that’s not quite right. Many women have issues with pelvic pain, endometriosis, infertility, and miscarriage, among other things, and there has been for a long time this idea that the pain women experience with reproduction is punishment for their sins.  Ann Dawkins "Cherries Staining a White Lace Napkin" [ARG] Obligatory covid/pandemic question: what has your pandemic experience been, and did it factor in this series?
[AD] For me the pandemic has been full of ebbs and flows. I was already making this work and living a fairly isolated life before the pandemic hit. In the beginning of 2020, I felt more connected to the world as it experienced a collective fear that pain/illness/danger is lurking behind every corner (something I had already grown accustomed to). I felt less lonely as someone with chronic illness as I watched people care for and protect one another. Then, I began to grieve as I watched capitalism spread the belief that productivity should be placed above human lives and as it viewed so many of our bodies as disposable. Then I again rejoiced as I saw individuals challenge and reject that narrative. So, it’s been a real emotional rollercoaster ride. Ann Dawkins Fruit/Bodies March 25 - May 8 reception with the artist Friday April 1, 6-8 pm |
|
RSS Feed